A. The ability to shed tears, to weep, seems to be a uniquely human response to pain. It is cleansing and healing. It does have a shadow side and the shadow side of tears is that we bring to each moment the unshed tears of past experiences.

In December of 1981, I was diagnosed with a malignancy. In February of 1982, I underwent surgery and elected not to have radiation or chemotherapy though both were recommended. By April, I was not doing well. A colleague of mine who was a Sikh, invited me to undertake a 42 day healing retreat. I accepted. Somewhere in the 2nd or 3rd week, after a powerful prayer service, I found myself staying behind in the chapel. Alone, I began to weep. I allowed myself to "collapse" into my tears and my fear.

I had not felt safe enough to do this in the preceding months because always there was a family member, friend or professional waiting for me to stop. This time there was no one. I wept and wept and wept. I wept past my own fear at dying and leaving my young son. I wept past my hurts and losses. I wept past my tribal holocausts and inquisitions. By the time I stopped weeping, I was weeping for my ancient brothers and sisters. I had wept to the end of my tears!

That was 1982. What I have discovered in the ensuing years is that when I cry, I am crying in the present and the present moment has its own rhythm. Cry. Cry to the end of your tears. Trust that you will emerge on the other side into the honest present.